Clothing Report

As a plus-sized gal, I am used to buying plus-sized clothing, and I don’t mind it. I even get that it costs more for more fabric, so I pay a little more. I don’t buy myself many clothes, however, so when I do, it may be a year or two in between the last batch of articles I purchased. I know it’s odd, but that’s all I need, so why spend more? I wear my clothes until they are threadbare!

But a trend I’ve noticed—besides having a hard time finding varied clothing styles and colors for larger people, since most designers apparently think we’re all either A. trying to look slimmer in black or B. all on our way to the funerals of our obese, dead friends so we can only wear that color—is that clothing seems to be shrinking lengthwise. I’m not shorter; I’ve even measured myself. Either the average—and I do usually buy “average” or “petite” lengths—size is taller than it was six years ago, or the measuring tape is lying to me, because I have to either alter or walk the hem out of every pair of pants I’ve purchased this year.

Don’t get me wrong. I sort of like having sleeves and pants droop over my feet and hands a wee bit. While many people might feel awkward, as if they are playing dress-up in Granny’s old dress that’s six sizes too big, I always feel like Morticia Addams, with my flowing sleeves and pants legs drifting around and behind me in the breeze. What can I say? I like being a little macabre. Don’t most people these days?

That said, most people don’t like walking on their pants in the winter mud and slush. And rolling up your pants, while a cute look for Pippi Longstocking, makes most people look like extras from Deliverance ready for the next Great Flood. I am not rolling up my pants legs.

And I don’t really have the time nor the inclination to do any hemming, either, though my aunt did just give us a sewing machine to start teaching our daughter on, so that might be a good learning project for us. Still, most of the people I know—who are, I must admit, a hair taller than me—don’t have to go to great lengths (get it?!... nevermind) to obtain a pair of pants that simply fit as-is. And when you add in factors like the girth of one’s middle or thighs or butt or whatever else varies from body to body—which is pretty much everything—like a bra size, one size does not fit every size in that group. It’s only a starting point, which is why so many people—women in particular—don’t even enjoy clothing shopping, like me.

It makes me wonder if I’ll need stilts to try on clothes in another six years…